Missionary? Doggie-style? Does sex position matter when you’re trying to conceive?

 

Sex is ideally spontaneous and fun, and of course toe-curling and delicious! But when a couple starts trying to have a baby it can turn into a chore when the spontaneity is taken out of the equation and sex becomes a goal-oriented event governed by ovulation predictor kits and cervical mucus.

To make matters worse couples are often told that it is best to have sex in the missionary position (man on top) to optimize the chances of getting pregnant. This always seemed strange to me. Even if your sex position mattered when you’re trying for a baby wouldn’t the position only matter when your partner ejaculates? And wouldn’t that mean that you could enjoy sex in any of your favorite positions until he’s getting close to his climax? And that whole argument about how certain positions help the sperm to get closer to the cervix? Really? If you’re having sex (penis in vagina intercourse) then no matter which kama sutra pose you’re acting out the sperm will be deposited right where it needs to be won’t it?

As it turns out, sex position hasn’t been shown to improve your odds of getting pregnant. Why might that be? Because the timing of intercourse based on your fertile days is the thing that really matters when you’re trying to conceive. Instead of doing it in the same position all the time, having sex on your fertile days is what’s going to make the biggest difference to increase your chances of conception.

Using the fertility awareness method involves getting into the habit of making observations each day and looking for the points of change from one phase to the next. For example, a typical menstrual cycle pattern in a healthy woman would look something like this:

Although this diagram outlines the different phases of the menstrual cycle, you may have noticed that only part of the diagram is numbered. This is because the pre-ovulatory phase of the menstrual cycle varies from cycle to cycle. The phase leading up to ovulation can be affected by stress, sleep disruptions, and other factors, but the post-ovulatory phase (the phase after ovulation) is consistent from cycle to cycle lasting 12-14 days on average.

How do I check for cervical mucus?

In order to identify which days are fertile, it is important to watch for changes from one day to the next. Since all mucus is fertile you should be checking for cervical mucus throughout the day each day. This involves using a flat piece of toilet paper to wipe from front to back and over your perineum (the smooth skin between your vagina and your anus) every time your pants are down both before and after you go to the bathroom (number 1 and 2).  After you wipe, observe what you see. If you see mucus and you’re comfortable, touch it, pick it up and see if you can stretch it between your fingers. And then record it using your favorite app, or using charting pages.

Why check for cervical mucus both before and after you go to the bathroom? Well if you don’t check for mucus after you “go” you might miss some of the observable mucus that is pushed out while you were going to the bathroom.  Yes it sounds gross, but here’s how it works:

• Check once before you “go” by wiping from front to back across your perineum with a flat piece of toilet paper
• After you “go” pat dry or wipe clean
• Use a new flat piece of toilet paper to check again by wiping once more from front to back
• Observe what you see and record it!

This is especially important for you if you’re just starting out because it takes a few cycles to get used to identifying dry days, mucus days and learning to tell the difference between peak and non-peak cervical mucus. It can also be difficult to identify the points of change from one phase to the other until you have a few cycles of observations under your belt.

Getting into the habit of checking several times each day allows you to identify the day when the sensation changes from dry (with no observable cervical mucus) to smooth or lubricative (slippery) with observable cervical mucus, or the day when the sensation changes from lubricative to dry. These observable changes help you to identify whether or not you are fertile on any given day.

What is a fertile day?

• Any day where you observe any type cervical mucus (either peak or non-peak):
• Any day where you observe non-peak cervical mucus (smooth, creamy like lotion)
• Any day where you observe peak cervical mucus (lubricative, slippery, wet, clear, stretchy like egg whites)
• Any day where you have observed cervical mucus with peak qualities (clear, stretchy) plus 3 days after (count of 3)

I want to get pregnant! What do I do?

•  If you see any cervical mucus then that day is a fertile day so have sex!
• Especially pay attention for days when you observe peak cervical mucus and…have sex!
• Sex position doesn’t affect your chances of getting pregnant, so have fun in whatever position(s) you like!
• You can lay down for a few min after he ejaculates so that the sperm has more time to find its way through to the cervix  (you don’t have to put your feet up!)
• Have an orgasm (or many!). During orgasm, the cervix dips down and actually sucks the sperm up into the uterus and helps them to get to the fallopian tubes. So after he “finishes” then it’s your turn again!
• Have sex every other day to give his swimmers time to replenish. Having him abstain from ejaculating for a day or two can increase his sperm supply

I don’t want a baby right now, thanks. Help!

When using FAM to prevent pregnancy it is important to identify which days are fertile and then decide whether to abstain, use barrier methods or have alternate sex during those days!

• Consider menstruation to be fertile
• Any days where any peak or non-peak cervical mucus is observed are fertile
• Before ovulation you are infertile the evening of each dry day – a dry day is when after a full day of checking for cervical mucus, there is a sensation of dryness, and no cervical mucus is observed at any point during the day.
• You are infertile the evening of the third consecutive day after your basal body temperature has shifted above the cover line – the cover line is drawn on the chart 3 days after ovulation and is based on the highest temperatures that happened during the 6 days before ovulation.
• You are infertile the evening of the 4th day after your peak day of cervical mucus – peak day is the last day you observe cervical mucus with peak qualities (clear/stretchy)
• Get a copy of Toni Weschler’s Taking Charge of Your Fertility or the Justisse User Guide for additional information!